Stress or Peace

I don’t hate many things. I can only think of a few topics. I do hate injustice. I hate when adults harm children and animals. And I hate spousal abuse. I really dislike disorganization and clutter. I am not a big fan of debt. And I am angry when someone gets cancer or Alzheimer’s. Hate is a strong word but I really do hate brussel sprouts, liver and the Pitt Panthers. (We attended Duquesne University in Pittsburgh at a time when Pitt was our arch enemy). I even remember a chant we used to yell at basketball games back in the late 70’s at the Panthers. “Under the arm…Pitt”. (Not very bright for students at a prestigious, private university).

The one other topic that comes to mind for me about hating is stress. I just don’t deal with it well. Others handle it better but for me, stress is a killer.

It is ironic that I was hired as a turnaround guy for distressed, even bankrupt companies, yet I hate stress. I mean there were weeks when I wondered how we were going to make payroll for 10,000 employees! Or I had to attend bankruptcy court each Thursday and sit on the stand and get attacked by the creditors’ attorneys. Or negotiate large acquisitions and divestitures. You would think I would thrive in chaos and stress. But I don’t. I really do hate it.

Barb and I moved our family four times during our life. Stressful! We both lost our parents. Stressful as well. We have had health scares. (More stress).

I cannot say I was always good at managing stress but I became better as the years progressed.

It was something I had to practice as a business leader, father, husband and friend. Practice is the key word here. I had to try techniques to reduce stress in all areas of my life. Sometimes it was the silliest little change that would reduce a ton of stress. For example, about twenty years ago, I made extra copies of our car and house keys. I hung up a long coat rack with many hooks and placed a copy of each important key on it. This sounds simple, but that one change eliminated a ton of stress from not being able to find keys when we had to leave for an event, etc.

Other quick stress busters at work and home:

• I choose to be at the airport 90 minutes before my flight and I always use TSA Precheck.

• I choose to arrive to work, school, church or any event fifteen-thirty minutes early. I would rather sit in the car and breathe than be stressed trying to get to somewhere in traffic by a certain time.

• If we are traveling out of state to an event that has a specific time (like a wedding, funeral, birthday party, cruise and the like), we have learned to go one day early just in case of plane delays, cancellations, unexpected weather, etc.

• If my gas tank shows half empty, I am at the gas station. I know I am weird! I can’t handle the stress of forgetting and almost running out of gas.

• If I have a presentation or a time sensitive project at work, I choose a date days or weeks in advance of the deadline as my artificial date so that I have plenty of extra time without stress to make changes or to meet the actual deadline.

• When I ask a team member to accomplish a task, I also ask them for a projected completion date. Whatever day they tell me, I give them a few extra days or weeks to finish the job in order to remove the stress.

They say some stress is good. It serves as a motivator to get things done. It forces one to move. If that is you, good for you. But for me and my teams, I wanted to create a place of urgency, accountability, positivity and teamwork. I wanted staff to be confident, steady and loyal. I wanted them to feel safe, secure and trusted. Unnecessary stress seemed to threaten all of these goals. I felt it was my job to remove as much of the self- promoted stress as possible and to help people reach and exceed their goals. Associates had enough stress due to sickness, financial matters, relationship issues, even cars malfunctioning. They needed to come to a place of refuge. A place where organization won out over disorganization, where planning won out over last-minute deadlines, where cleanliness won out over clutter and where transparency won out over secrecy.

All of this was a work in progress. And we got better at this as the years progressed. But it all seemed to go back to being intentional about avoiding and eliminating as much stress as possible.

It was a choice!

I recently read a quote by Dr. Joan Z. Borysenko that seemed to support this theory.

She wrote, “Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.”

I choose peace.

Thanks for reading this.

With a goal to “help the next one in line”, Glen Cavallo, a 30+ year healthcare executive has chosen to share the many lessons he has learned with others. Glen does this by serving as a coach/advisor to leaders at all levels of organizations, as a board member and as he presents inspirational speeches at regional, national, annual and awards meetings.