What I would tell my 20 year-old self

One day, I was on an exceptionally long drive (from Little Rock to Virginia), and I turned off the radio and started to think, pray, and dream. I love it when I have a chance to do all three of these as I can become more intentional, more deliberate, more strategic and a better person. I become less transactional and more focused on others.

I am in my early sixties age wise, but I swear there are days that my mind thinks I am in my twenties.

So, I played a game. If I could travel back in time, what would I tell my 20-year-old self who was a junior in college? What lessons did I learn these last forty years? Here goes. I hope this helps at least one person who is reading this.

“Glen don’t sweat the small stuff. You will fix what needs to be fixed in time. This stuff is mostly transactional. You won’t even think about or remember most of the small stuff in months”.

In business, there will be days, when you feel like you are doing a great job and other days when a little voice in your head says you might be fired. Ok, maybe not always fired, but failing. I would tell myself not to listen to that voice. I was never a failure. I either succeeded or I learned.

Speaking of learning, hang in there, Glen. You are learning so much and will continue to do so the rest of your life. Even in your sixties. Don’t stop. You will be amazed at how easier things will become as you learn and experience more.

There is going to be a lot of sorrow in life. Bad things happen to good people. This is not God punishing anyone. This is just life. Glen, try to remember to just be there for those in pain. You might not be able to change the outcome, but all of us need support and love from others. And don’t forget that God is all compassionate. He loves you the way you love your kids and grandkids. I am guessing He cries along with you when you cry. But He is there for you, sitting in that chair across from you. He has big shoulders, let God carry some of the load.

There is more to business than numbers. You have a chance to inspire people, to help people improve their quality of life, to teach, lead and grow others. In fact, if you stay focused on all these things and some core values, you will be amazed at how well your business unit or company will perform long term. Core values like “Always do the Right Thing” and “Treat Every Patient like a Loved Family Member” will be values that serve as a foundation to success.

Glen, do not sacrifice your family, health, sleep, and friends for the sake of your job or community involvement. Your job and volunteer activities will cease. The investment you make in your family, health and friends will reap emotional, physical, and psychological rewards for the rest of your life.

As your career develops and you get more compensation, try to not change your lifestyle. Instead take the extra money and make investments for the long term. Don’t follow the crowd or give in to peer pressure. Stay the course. One of the more incredible secrets in finance is the power of compounding interest. It can work either for you or against you (if you are in debt).

Don’t listen to that voice what says “You are not good enough, you are ugly, you are not from the right side of the tracks, you are not smart enough, you are not rich enough, etc. That voice is so wrong. You are perfect just the way you were made. Perfect. Try to love yourself the way your parents and God loves you. Unconditionally. Just love yourself and others unconditionally.

Missed expectations create resentment. You will see this in your life repeatedly. From as small as the cable guy not showing up after you took the afternoon off, to those you love or work alongside letting you down. Glen, try to remember this lesson and to not get so upset. Most of the time, people will not let you down intentionally. Cut them some slack. Remember, not to sweat the small stuff!

Be opportunistic. If some great candidate falls in your lap, hire them. Even if it is not in the budget. You will personally succeed, and your company will succeed based on great staff. The stronger the team, the better the results.

Manage your time as well as possible. Be intentional with it. Do not let others steal your time at work at the expense of your family and friends. Block off time with your future wife and kids and your friends before the month starts. Have date nights with your spouse, take your kids to breakfast or lunch (one on one) etc. Listen to them. Really listen. Do not let your mind wonder onto work things when you are in the presence of your family and friends. They deserve all of you. They will always be there. Your job will not be.

Seek wise counsel. I am not sure there is a better biblical lesson. There are experts in the topics you will deal with-tap into their knowledge. Ask for help! Many people have traveled the road you are about to travel. They will help guide you, help you avoid landmines and help you enjoy the scenery. Almost everyone wants to help someone. Give them a chance. Asking for advice and guidance is not a sign of weakness-it is a strength.

Speaking of helping. When you get to the finish line, turn around and help the next one in line. It is your duty and responsibility. You will be amazed at how good it will feel to do so. It will be good for your friendships but even better for your soul.

Oh, and one last thing. You know that cute girl you met at college yesterday? Marry her. She will bless with you with over forty years of a great marriage and three awesome kids and incredible grandkids. If you are lucky enough that she says “yes”, it will be the best decision you will ever make.

Oh, by the way, the Eagles are going to break your heart until 2018! You will be disappointed each year for the next forty years. (Missed expectations create resentment). But it will be worth the wait when they win the Super Bowl, and your grandson is jumping up and down in joy with you as the clock winds down to zero and the confetti flies all around.

Speaking of grandchildren…. you think the cake of life will be good? Grandkids will be the icing. But you have a lot of living to do between now and then. Enjoy!

Thanks for reading this.

With a goal to “help the next one in line”, Glen Cavallo, a 30+ year healthcare executive has chosen to share the many lessons he has learned with others. Glen does this by serving as a coach/advisor to leaders at all levels of organizations, as a board member and as he presents inspirational speeches at regional, national, annual and awards meetings.